i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
A+ Viking dick
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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