allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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