Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
