Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
