i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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