Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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