we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
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It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
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I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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