I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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