He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
