I wish i was in the wii world.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The air was thick with penises
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
