You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Are my feet made of real feet?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
