Im at strip club and am horny
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
