it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
