probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
