Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.