so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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