At least make sure they are 18
Why
she woke up with a sticky ear
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
