Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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