I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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