he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
