I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
