I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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