He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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