I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
