super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
