I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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