3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We need to rekindle our bromance
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
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No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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