it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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