Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize