I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
