SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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