Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
