haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i believe in u and ur pee
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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