Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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