i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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