She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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