They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
