Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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