when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
