Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
