Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The struggles of a small town man whore
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
