I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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