I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
