Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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