WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
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Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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