nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
