I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
