I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
