I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You're like the curious george of whores
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
