Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
