I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
