um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize