do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.