brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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