first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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