Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
