No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize