therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
