$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
