This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
