I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
