i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize