Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
