I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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