i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
